Mortal Kombat:  Shaolin Monks

Genre:	Fighting Action
Developer:	Midway Games
Publisher:	Midway Games
Release Date:	15 September 2005
Released On:	PS2, Xbox

Lucius Diamond Describes the Plot in 10 Words or Less: 

Bust huge ass combos to save Earth Realm and humanity.

Overview: 

Shaolin Monks is one of the most purely fun and satisfying games I've ever encountered.  Most gamers at this point are pretty familiar with the Mortal Kombat franchise.  Over the years, they've released a veritable shitload of games, most of which are purely fighting in nature.  That aspect sort of made it tough to tie in the story effectively.  Shaolin Monks takes care of that problem, because at it's heart it's an adventure game.  Not that the story is really that vital anyway.

You play the adventure mode with Liu Kang, the mortal Kombat champ, and Kung Lao, some dude in a hat who is all about his family's honor.  The game opens with some sweet fighting featuring most of the major characters, including Johnny Cage, Gorro, Scorpion, and Sub Zero. Speaking of which, Sub Zero rips a dudes spinal column out.

Before you know it, Earth Realm needs saving again because of some crazy loophole in the Mortal Kombat bylaws.  Liu Kang and Kung Lao have to go to Outworld and beat all the ass they can.  The fighting is pretty awesome.  You can do just as many moves as you can in the fighting games, except now you do them in a 3D environment.  Defeating enemies gets you exp, which you use to buy new moves and combos.  Busting combos builds your Fatality Meter, which you can use to execute Fatalities, Multalities, or Brutalities, which will render ultimate destruction to all who oppose.  After fighting through a bunch of peons and solving some puzzles, every level ends with a boss fight with a famous MK character.  These fights can be hella hard.

I almost forgot the most important aspect!  This game has a Ko-op mode.  That means you and a friend can play through together beating all the ass you can handle.  You can even do team moves, such as the Tornado Fireball Extravaganza.

Unlockables are also a big part of the game.  You can find a bunch of secrets scattered around, and eventually you'll be able to play the story modes with 2 additional characters, and the VS mode with just about anybody you want.

X-Tremeness Level: 

Drinking Nitro Glycerin out of a dead cop's skull, and later using Sun Tzu's Art of War to wipe your ass.

Overall Badassitude Score: 

It would be tough to make this game more badass.  The graphics are pretty awesome, there's a TON of gore.  Monks get lit on fire, people get their heads ripped off, or impaled on spikes.  The moves are really sweet, with lots of fireballs, razor edged hats, flying bicycle kicks, and midair tiger rolls.

The game only has two real negatives.  First, it's pretty short, you can probably beat it in a couple days.  It'll take a while longer if you try to unlock everything.  The main detraction, though, is that at the beginning of the game you cannot play through the story mode with any characters BUT Liu Kang and Kung Lao.  Even after unlocking everything, there are only 4 characters you can play the story mode with.  That's not too bad I guess, but when you think of Mortal Kombat, you come to expect a TON of characters.

        

SCORE:  4 out of a possible 5 severed spinal columns.

Addictiveness: 

RATING:  A Mother's Love.

This game is awesome for a day or a couple of days, but it can get downright annoying if you play it too long.  Usually this is because you keep beating the first form of Scorpion, but he kills you at the last second, or the nearest save point is across a chasm strewn with pungee sticks and pterodactyls.  Also, if you forget where it is Raiden told you to go next, you're screwed.  It'll take forever to jump through all the portals you need to to figure it out.

Multiplayer Component: 

Ko-op mode, plus VS mode.  Bound to be hours and hours of entertainment.

Awesometer Score: 

+7

If this game was longer, it would have gotten an 8, and if you could play the story mode with anyone you want, it would get a 9.  Maybe if there's a sequel the developers will get a clue.  Anyway, as is, the game is worth a 7, but the potential was limitless.  I'd consider it a game that comes up way way short, because it could have been EPIC.