Metroid: Zero Mission

Genre:	Third-Person Action/Adventure
Developer:	Nintendo
Publisher:	Nintendo
Release Date:	9 February 2004
Released On:	GBA

Amazing Ben Describes the Plot in 10 Words or Less: 

Babe in robot suit battles pirates and aliens in space.

Overview: 

Metroid is one of those NES games like Mario and Zelda that pretty much everyone and their mother owned at some point in their lives, and for good reason.  I mean, what's not to like about a game where you run around in a space suit and blow the crap out of pirates and monsters in the caverns of an alien planet?  It's a great concept and it was a game that kept nerdy kids all around the country thumbing through the pages of Nintendo Power trying to figure out how to get to Ridley's lair or how to get the "super secret" ending where Samus takes her top off and plays five-card stud with a computer-generated Corey Feldman.

Well for those of you who loved the original, all those memories of 1980-whatever-year-Metroid-came-out will come flying back as soon as you pop in Zero Mission.  That's because this newest Metroid is actually a relatively faithful remake of the original with some aspects of Super Metroid and some bonus original content thrown in for good measure.  The end result is a pretty badass game that has a very familiar feel to it.  A couple of minutes into it and you're finding yourself instinctively heading to get the Long Beam even though you aren't even all that certain you can remember what it even does.

But I think I'm getting ahead of myself.  For the uninitiated, Metroid is a side-scrolling action game where you play as a rail-thin blonde chick (didn't she have like brown or green hair in the original?) named Samus Aran who runs through the caverns of the Planet Zebes acting as a glorified Orkin Man.  She battles space pirates and giant bugs in her efforts to destroy an infestation of brain-sucking creatures known as Metroids and their evil leader Mother Brain.  There's no real plot to speak of, except the standard "kill or be killed" concept that was so prevalent in all those old games.

Zero Mission is graphically well done, delivering SNES-quality visuals with some cool new effects tossed on the side.  The game does a good job of letting you know where you need to go next, avoiding the all-too-common pitfall adventure games face where the player ends up running around for two hours looking for a place he or she hasn't been yet.  Plus, there's a bonus level thrown into the game that is simultaneously frustrating and awesome.

The last major draw to this game is that once you beat it you unlock the original NES version of Metroid.  However, after you've played Zero Mission you'll probably have a hard time going back to the old one.

X-Tremeness Level: 

Having Mario, Samus and Link come alive, break into your house while you're sleeping, kick your face in and then run away before you can even tell what's going on.

Overall Badassitude Score: 

Samus' weapons and equipment are all there, from the Super Missiles to the Thing That Makes You Turn Into a Little Ball to the always interestingly-named "Screw Attack".  All of her gear is pretty awesome, and she's really a pretty badass lead character.  Some of the aliens and beasties sort of leave something to be desired, but the nostalgia feel of the entire game almost makes up for those shortcomings.  Plus, you would have a pretty difficult time coming up with a more awesome boss trio than Ridley, Kraid and Mother Brain.

        

SCORE:  4 out of a possible 5 cartridges of the original Metroid for the NES.

Addictiveness: 

RATING:  A box of Pocky Sticks.

Once you pick it up and get the hang of the newly-tweaked controls, you'll have a tough time putting it down again.  Unfortunately, the entire game can be completed in about three and a half hours your first time through.

Multiplayer Component: 

There's the option to link it up to a Game Boy that has Metroid: Fusion in it, but I don't own that game and I have no clue what the point of that would be.

Hot Andrea's Take: 

"How big is this chick supposed to be that she fits into that suit?"

Awesometer Score: 

+2

Zero Mission would have scored better if there were just more of it.  I'm not the kind of person who generally likes to play a game over immediately upon completing it, and I know that it was pretty much designed exactly like the original, but in the end I really only ended up getting about four hours of gameplay out of this cartridge.  Sure, I've picked it up a couple times since then and I only paid about $3.50 for it on eBay, but there's really just not enough content for it to be considered a truly great game.  What's there is excellent however, and if you were a fan of the original (or are just a fan of side-scrolling action games in general) you should try to find a cheap copy somewhere.  Just don't pay thirty bucks for it.