Guitar Hero 2

Genre:	Music
Developer:	Harmonix
Publisher:	RedOctane
Release Date:	7 November 2006
Released On:	PS2, Xbox, Xbox 360

Amazing Ben Describes the Plot in 10 Words or Less: 

Rock everyone's balls to the back of the auditorium.

Overview: 

I know you've all probably heard about Guitar Hero a jillion times by now from every single media outlet in the known galaxy and the next time someone mentions it to you you're going to jab a drum stick into your brain, but you're just going to have to suck it up for one more week because this game destroys asses like an ass-destroying proton torpedo.

I have to admit I was overly skeptical of all the hype and of all these random people who aren't successful rock stars like me acting like posers waving their stupid half-sized brightly-colored guitars around like crazy retards, but I have to say that this is honestly one of the most fun games I've played in a long ass time.  The basic premise of the game is pretty simple.  You have this stupid fake guitar that has five buttons on it and a "strum bar" which acts as the pick, and you have to hit the buttons and strum in the proper sequence (which flashes along the screen) to jam along with some random hardcore rock song.  It's like Karaoke Revolution, except that instead of singing and being fruity you're making like Slash and rocking faces with a flaming ass electric guitar solo.  There are four different difficulty levels, and generally the game is pretty easy to pick up and play, but exceedingly difficult to master.

That's more or less the extent of it, really.  It's not like anything else you've ever played, but I have to say that if you're into music at all or if you think you kick ass at air guitar then you probably owe it to yourself to pick this bitch up and test your metal mettle (nyuk nyuk).  There are a number of different guitar-playing stereotype avatar characters you can play as, ranging from the straight-up 80's hair metal guy to the punk rock guy to the goth chick, a number of different guitars ranging from the Flying V to the Les Paul, and quite a few different venues for you to blow up, but it's not like any of that shit makes a whole lot of difference since at any given time your eyes are going to be transfixed on the notes you're supposed to be playing.  Everything else is really just background noise and color and otherwise inconsequential.

I'll also say that most of the songs are pretty damn sweet.  It encompasses everything from Rockabilly to Classic Rock to 80's, with some Alternative, Punk, and Death Metal shit thrown in just to round it out.  I guarantee that if you're interested in rock music at all you'll like and/or recognize at least one song on the CD.  The bad news is that if you're trying to get the high score on a particular track you'll some times end up playing it over and over and listening to the same song about two hundred times in a row until you've memorized every single little guitar squelch and you're ready to hack your ears off with a rotary saw.

The single most important thing to keep in mind with this game however is this - No matter how much this game makes you feel like you're up on stage in front of a couple hundred thousand screaming fans ripping off a huge guitar solo like Eddie Van Halen and Randy Rhoads' illegitimate love child, you actually look like a fucking dumbass.  Never forget that.

Rock star.

X-Tremeness Level: 

Playing a flaming guitar solo on the main stage at Ozzfest and rocking so hard that you spontaneously combust.

Overall Badassitude Score: 

Everything about this game screams badassitude, and when you successfully rock out the ridiculous ten minute long "Free Bird" solo you feel like you're the goddamned king of the rock universe.  However, I have to give it only 4 out of 5 because the actuality of the situation is that you're just a nerd with a plastic toy guitar.

      

SCORE:  4 out of a possible 5 Amazing Ben Flaming Guitar Solos.

Addictiveness: 

RATING:  Snorting coke off an unconscious groupie.

This is a very difficult game to put down, because the compulsion is to keep playing until you've scored perfect scores on every single song for every single difficulty level and ascended into the Halls of Rock Valhalla, which is a task that is for all intents and purposes impossible.  Have fun wasting hours upon hours of your life.

Multiplayer Component: 

If you get two guitars you can link them up and rock the songs in co-op mode.  Depending on the song, one person plays guitar and one plays bass, or one plays lead and the other plays rhythm.  I rocked this with a couple of my friends last weekend, and I think it was probably one of the sweetest experiences this side of being in an actual band.  The big difference here was that our Guitar Hero band sucked a lot less than any of the actual bands I was in.

Hot Andrea's Take: 

"I fucking hate this game, and I fucking hate you for making me play it!"

Awesometer Score: 

+6

I love this game.  It is just so totally sweet in so many ways.  However, I can't really justify giving it higher than a +6, since there really isn't a whole lot to it.  There are quite a few songs, but if you've seen one you've more or less seen them all.  It's simple and straight-forward and not very deep in terms of gameplay, but it's fun and addictive enough to cause you to piss away many a quiet night.