Baldur's Gate: Dark Alliance

Genre:	Action RPG
Developer:	Snowblind Studios
Publisher:	Black Isle Studios
Release Date:	29 November 2001
Released On:	PS2, Xbox, GameCube

Amazing Ben Describes the Plot in 10 Words or Less: 

Button-mash through hordes of creatures and save the city.

Overview: 

Dark Alliance took the Action RPG genre that started with games like Gauntlet and Diablo, tweaked it, and moved it to the consoles.  The result is one of the best multiplayer co-op games in this generation of systems and the first in what would become a stream of button-mashing hack-and-slash dungeon crawls.

The game takes place in the popular Dungeons & Dragons setting known as The Forgotten Realms.  You choose one of three characters (a human archer, an elven sorceress or a dwarven warrior) and set off for adventure in the city of Baldur's Gate.  Shit doesn't go all that well though and the second you step foot inside the town gates you get jumped by some thugs who beat the crap out of you and steal all your stuff.  Now your mission is simple:  find some money and a weapon and get some damned revenge.  The story goes off from there, but the real meat of this title is in its gameplay.

The camera takes sort of a top-down view of your character as you run around hacking the crap out of anything that moves, collecting better weapons, armor or items and gaining experience points for every kill.  Get enough experience and you'll level up and learn new skills and abilities.  It's painfully simple, but incredibly addictive.  Once you get sucked into it, I promise you that you won't relent until every single living thing in the universe has been slaughtered by you.

There is no shortage of motherfuckers that need to be killed in the world of Baldur's Gate.  It has everything that a D&D nerd would want in a game - zombies, ogres, giants, drow, kobolds, displacer beasts - you name it.  You'll meet all of them and then destroy them without mercy.  It's awesome.

I should mention that you probably won't have as much fun playing this game by yourself.  It was more or less designed for multiplayer, and it absolutely shines in that department.  Luckily, I live with my fiancée so there's always someone around to help me waste bozos.  Take note of that, men;  she was ambivalent towards video games until I introduced her to two titles - Gauntlet: Dark Legacy and Baldur's Gate.  Now, she'll pretty much play any two-player game I bring home.  She won't always like them, but she'll at least try them all out.

If you're a hardcore RPGer this likely won't be up your alley either.  The character-building elements are incredibly simplistic, there's no party structure, the story is there just to give you half of a reason to fight, and the combat is limited to one attack button, a magic button and a block button.  If you're looking for the next Icewind Dale or Pool of Radiance, this ain't it.  It's basically a watered-down RPG with a focus on combat and button-mashing.  But it's fun as hell.

X-Tremeness Level: 

Doing a ton of PCP and then bodyslamming police officers and teenagers into a kiddie pool filled entirely with margaritas and Vicodin.

Overall Badassitude Score: 

The main characters could have been a little more badass, but they serve their purpose.  They each have their own distinct styles, and they all have the capacity to be complete ass-whuppers in their own right.  The game also features Drizzt Do'Urden as an unlockable character, so all you Drizzt fans out there can get your rocks off in that respect, though I personally have a hard time pulling for anybody who names his sword "Twinkle".

Characters aside, the real badassitude in this game lies in the feeling you get when you walk straight into a horde of lizardman warriors and cut them down with your blade in a sea of blood and ichor and whatever the hell that green stuff is that some of those creatures bleed.  Teaming up with a friend to drive your enemies before you and leave them broken and dead in your wake while you plunder their treasure and steal their lunch money is completely awesome in every way.  This game pretty much rules.

        

SCORE:  4 out of a possible 5 giant angry beholders singing The Hey Song in unison.

Addictiveness: 

RATING:  Crack Cocaine.

Andrea and I have logged about forty-five hours on this game.  When we first bought it, we played it pretty much nonstop for an entire weekend until we had finally finished it.  We were seriously waking up at 9am and going to sleep at 3 or 4 in the morning, which is a big deal because we've both become incredibly lame about staying up late now that we both have full-time jobs where we need to get up early.  Once we had beaten it (it takes about 7 to 10 hours of play time to get through), we just went ahead and started a new game the next morning.  We've beaten it five times in the last year and a half, and are currently working on a sixth.  It's stupid and mindless, but it's also uncontrollably addictive.  You're always thinking, "ok I'll turn it off, but let me just gain one more level first..." and the next thing you know you've been sitting in your living room for a week stewing in your own filth and your boss is leaving messages on your answering machine wondering why you haven't been to work in three days.

Multiplayer Component: 

There's a two-player simultaneous cooperative story mode with a shared-screen view.  If you are even remotely into co-op gaming, this is a must-have title.

Hot Andrea's Take: 

"I can't decide whether I should put my extra stat point into Intelligence and boost my Meteor Swarm or put it into Strength so that I can keep disrupting undead with my morningstar."

Awesometer Score: 

+6

If I had written the review when the game was first released, I would have ranked it even higher than this.  Since then there have been a couple of titles that have improved upon the basic concept, but Dark Alliance was the first and it still holds up as one of the best Action RPGs on the market today.  If you can find someone who is willing to devote ten to twelve hours to sitting on the couch with you and hammering the X button you owe it to yourself to pick this game up.  The fact that it's now a $19.99 Greatest Hits title gives you even less of a reason to pass on it.