| The Punisher: The Importance of Living For Revenge |
My brother and a friend of his saw this movie in the theater on opening night, and all the local movie critics were sitting in the row behind them. Apparently they did nothing but talk about how they were going to pan this movie the entire time. I, however, must admit that I liked it.
The Punisher is the story of Frank Castle, FBI agent and ex-special forces soldier, who accidentally kills the son of a mobster named Howard Saint (John Travolta). In retaliation, Saint has Castle’s family killed. Not just his immediate family either. No, they attack the Castle family reunion and kill his ENTIRE EXTENDED FAMILY. Aunts, uncles, cousins, everyone. Now that is revenge. I don’t see why they didn’t go back and kill his neighbors, co-workers, and the girl he took to the senior prom, just for the sake of completeness. However, they fail to kill Castle himself. So Castle does what any pissed off ex-green beret with nothing but vengeance to live for would do, namely: turns an old GTO into an armored vehicle, drinks Wild Turkey, and starts killing motherfuckers.
This is the directorial debut of Jonathan Hensleigh, whose previous projects include such steaming piles of crap as Gone in Sixty Seconds, Armageddon, Jumanji, The Saint, and the Young Indiana Jones Chronicles. It also stars John Travolta, whose been in three good movies in his entire career. Thus, it’s a small miracle that this movie is not a vile black hole of suck. Most of the credit for that goes to Thomas Jane, who gives an excellent badass performance, Clint Eastwood style: he looks mean, says very little, and kills a lot of people. The best part is the fight scene with the Russian. Midway through the flick, the Punisher is attacked by The Russian, a hired goon played by Kevin Nash with a blond dye job and a goofy sailor outfit. They proceed to have an over-the-top, cartoonish fight in which grenades go off, toilets are used as weapons, and people are stabbed, thrown through walls, scalded with boiling hot water, and thrown down stairs. The movie has been grimly serious up to this point, and then we have outlandish, over-the-top fight scene that‘s played for laughs. It’s brilliant.
The main reason I like this movie is that it illustrates one of the key components of Badassitude. In his little treatise on the subject a few weeks ago, Amazing Ben sort of touched on this point when he spoke of the necessity of having one’s death avenged. The true badass not only has their own death avenged, but they live for revenge as well. So many great badass characters have revenge as their sole motivation: the Count of Monte Cristo, the outlaw Josey Wales, Bruce Lee in Enter the Dragon, Inigo Montoya, and countless others. Generally, badasses live for revenge because they’ve had family members or friends killed, or been shot and left for dead, or been wrongly accused of a crime. However, those who aspire to badassitude can incorporate this principle into their daily lives. In practice for the day when you’ve become so badass that someone will want to kill your whole family, start now by avenging even the smallest slights. Here are some general vengeance guidelines:
- Revenge is a dish best served cold:
- Revenge should be disproportionate:
There are situations where your vengeance must be swift and terrible, but in general the cold, implacable revenge is best. If possible, you should wait so long that the offender can't even remember what he did to you. For instance, if you have a roommate who doesn't do the dishes when it's his turn, wait three weeks, and then start breaking plates over his head and yelling "Do the goddamn dishes, motherfucker!" Not only will he be in pain, but he'll be totally confused as to what brought on the outburst of violence. He'll live in fear of your next murderously psychotic episode. Always fuck with their minds.
The best revenge is totally out of proportion to the original slight. The slightest annoyances, such as mouth-breathing, bad jokes, or other annoying personal habits are good excuses to start face-kicking people. The classic example is Julius Caesar's kidnapping by pirates. By all accounts, the pirates treated Caesar very well, but after his release he had them crucified. Was that really necessary? It is if you're a damn badass.
Let no one sway you from your path of vengeance: At some point in your quest for retribution, someone will try to divert you from your objective, saying things like: "Will killing them bring your family back?" or "Violence never solved anything." Don't listen to that hippie crap. Be like the Punisher. when some chick like Rebecca Romijn tries to stop you from risking your life to avenge your family, just so she can sleep with you, ignore her. Go get your revenge. Then sleep with her.
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