Jack returned from his latest adventure of yelling at old people and children to his MANsion of Didgeridoos and internet porn.  Jack took off his Ass-kicking Boots and put on his Ass-Kicking Flip-Flops, putting them with the rest of his footwear inside Germaine Geer's cavernous vagina, kicking her liberally in her shrivelled ovaries as he past.  She attempted to say how society is repressing her by Jack forcing her sexual organs to act as a shoe rack but then she promptly shut-the-hell-up when Jack Shannon hurled his bowling ball sized testicles at her, knocking her out cold and simultaneously giving her an orgasm.

(FACT:  Women are aroused by the prospect of being severely mentally handicapped by being attacked by Jack Shannon's nut-sack and its awesome diamond-studded contents.)

Jack manfully pogoed over to his computer on a pogo stick made from the tears of a thousand third world children who were adopted by Madonna a subsequently buggered by her pet Veloceraptor Sparkles.  Jack paused manfully in his pogo-tastic journey to consider his pogo stick, like a woman a pogo stick made from ice was stupid, impractical and prone to shattering under Jack Shannon's mighty impact.

When he got to his computer after pwning innumerable n00bs on tEh iNternet, Jack flipped over to his emails,

"Jack, I need you to do another update!  Without you my website is like a Panda without honey-mustard dressing!  Please write an update soon!  I'm struggling to think of things to tell Andrea about why you haven't updated in so long, but even she is struggling to believe that you haven't been able to get to a computer in all this time because your mighty man-meat is stuck in the door of a multi-class level 5/2 Viking long ship/Pontiac Montana!  Please update before the manliness levels of my site drop!"

Jack paused for a moment to oil himself up like Conan the Barbarian from Jack's two favourite films, Conan:  The Destroyer and Conan:  The Regan years.

(Is it just me or did the Conan:  The Adventurer cartoon series totally rock tits?  Conan didn't take any shit from anyone in that series.  He was constantly yelling at people and kicking ass.  Except when he had to take care of those three stupid shitty children for some reason.  But I am totally confident that he was only doing that so he could eventually German Suplex them over a cliff like "Stone-Cold" Steve Austin. Man that would pwn something fierce...)

So Jack Shannon sat on his Manchair at his Man-board and typed out an article...

Germaine Greer is a fucking bitch.

For those of you lucky enough to not know who this hag-maiden is then I will tell you;

She is Hitler.

No not just the female version of Hitler, literally Hitler.  Confused?  Then you are probably a woman.  Or a child.  If you a child I don't know what the fuck you are doing on a computer unsupervised.  GET OFF THE DAMN SITE YOU CRAZY KIDS!!!!  THIS AIN'T NO DOUBLE NEGATIVE!!!!!

I just sickened myself by partly relating myself to Herr Greer.  You see we both hate children and want to get rid of them.  However the difference is Deontological, as I hate them because they are stupid and are always nerding up the place with their shitty little faces.  Goddamnit I hate children... Here was I?  Oh yeah!  Germaine Greer hates them because they are the product of the male genialities, or as its normally called, Jack's mighty +12 Man-Sword of Destruction.

But why is Germaine Greer like Hitler?  Let me use my mighty Man-Logic to show you:

GGGGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAHHHHHHHGGUUUUGHH!!!11!!!11!!1!!

Premise 1:  Jack is Jewish and a MAN.

Premise 2:  Hitler hated Jews.  Germaine "shriveled old man-boobs" Greer hates men which Jack is the undisputed leader of.

Conclusion:  Germaine Greer is Hitler.

As you can see Germaine "I write shitty books like the female eunuch.  Seriously, what the fuck is a female eunuch?  Even the tile is shitty!" Greer is, by a frank and concise argument;  Hitler.

However some people might try to disprove my argument (these people are retarded) by saying that Hitler's chief love (cock) is precisely what Germaine Greer despises.  However I am going to tell these people to shut the fuck up.  N00bs.

So anyway, Germaine Greer, despite being many hundreds of years old and a bitch and a woman-so-she-doesn't-have-anything-interesting-or-relevent-to-say-anyway insists on appearing on television whenever possible and complain about how her and all women's short comings are not due to their natural stupidity and ineptitude but rather large penised men like myself.

(I have nothing against a woman working hard and being successful as long as her ambitions do not lie outside of fellatio and cooking me steaks. Preferably simultaneously.)

However, some people actually like her;

"Belinda Luscombe in Time Magazine called Greer 'the ultimate Trojan Horse, gorgeous and witty, built to penetrate the seemingly unassailable fortress of patriarchy and let the rest of us foot soldiers in.'"  -Wikipedia

"Jack Shannon in Well-Hung Viking Bi-Weekly called Greer 'A Bitch' and commented the Time Magazine was 'Shite.'  And 'full of piss-wanking shit midgets who eat puppies.'"

So how can we stop the shit-fest that is Germaine Greer's face from plaguing us anymore you ask?  Well like you slay a fire giant with a flaming sword in D+D, you use a mighty Viking Broadsword to kill a feminist;

Anyone who didn't see that joke coming is a complete retard.

So to conclude this great and manly Article:

Yeah. That's how fucking awesome I am. Don't mess with me because I am all fucking business.

The moral of this story is you should be Germaine Greer because if you are then you are Hitler and Jack Shannon will kill you with his penis.

Oh, by the way Jack fans please from now on send your emails to this address.

Thank you niggas!