The Guide to Ultimate Righteousness

Foreword


1. Introduction


1. Frequently Asked Questions


2. The Tome of Righteousness


1. Honor and Values


2. Ass Kicking


3. Badassitude


4. Questing


5. Hero Worship


6. Blaze of Glory


3. Conclusion

Foreword

Ultimate Righteousness is a concept I have been studying for quite some time, and I now feel prepared to share with the world what I have learned.  Within this tome are a number of ideas and practices that society at large consider to be 'radical' or 'deviant.'  I say forget about society.  It's never deviant to take control over your own destiny, to stand up and say that you won't be made a number.  We all have identities beyond what others see, and in many cases beyond what we see ourselves.  A large part of obtaining Ultimate Righteousness is self discovery.

With that, I leave you.  I hope this is informative and helpful, and if it is not, you must not be prepared to accept the truth:  You are awful.  Work on that.  Also, on the slim chance anyone read this a year or so ago on my site, formerly realultimatebattles.com, it is slightly revised and edited.

Introduction

The definition of righteousness according to an internet source is, "The quality or state of being morally sound."  That sounds an awful lot like, "do what you're told, because morality is dictated to us by the elitist Bourgeoisie."  Certainly 'being moral' is a vital part of being righteous, but in my mind that definition only scrapes the surface of true righteousness.

This is an introduction to what I like to call 'Ultimate Righteousness.'  It is not something that is easily defined, and it is even more difficult and perilous to attain.  Ultimate Righteousness can best be described as spiritual enlightenment, total badassitude, and public reverence all wrapped in one, multiplied by a TON.

The Tome consists of six sections, all vital to obtaining Ultimate Righteousness.  The six sections all tie in together creating a bond that cannot be broken, neither by men nor gods.  Immortality shall be granted to the Truly Righteous, while those who try and fail shall fall into obscurity with the vermin of society.  I warn you, undertaking this task is not something to do lightly.  While following the path to Righteousness, you may find yourself secluded from others, though you still walk among them.  For a time, you may find yourself hopeless, lost, destitute, and filthy, your only friends Justice and Valor.  You may be beaten up, spit on, peed on (whether you're into that or not) humiliated, or accused of being mentally unsound.  Stand true and enlightenment will find you, and you shall REJOICE.

The six Arms of Righteousness are Honor, Ass Kicking, Badassitude, Quests, Hero Worship, and the Blaze of Glory.

The green background represents the natural state of the world and truth.  It is unsoiled by hatred, greed, and oppression.  You must learn to see the world as it really is if you ever hope to be truly righteous.

The blue six pointed star represents the ultimate goal, the sky, and eternity.  Though we cannot possess or control the sky, it is a symbol of the vastness of possibility, and eternity is what we hope to achieve when we undertake the Great Quest for Righteousness.  Not to be confused with the also blue six pointed Star of David, which I think is representative of Jewish badasses ONLY.  Plus, I think they put those on the sides of their nuclear bombs.

Honor, Hero Worship, and Quests are the Arms of Service.  They are named for the personal sacrifice necessary to live by them.  A quest may take you away from the ones you cherish, or it may require you to sever all ties with them.  Hero Worship is the study of those who have come before you.  Squiring yourself to one of our fallen heroes can be a challenging yet rewarding task, and is necessary to achieve enlightenment.  Honor, of course, can require you to do many things you may not like, such as killing or maiming.  Thus are the Arms of Service.

The Blaze of Glory, Ass Kicking, and Badassitude are the Arms of Mastery.  They are named for the patience and dedication necessary to practice them.  To go out in a true Blaze of Glory requires much contemplation.  Ass Kicking comes naturally to many, but keeping your skills with gun, sword, or fist sharp requires dedication.  Badassitude is such a vast area of study that many candidates of Righteousness come to the very summit of their spiritual journey only to plummet back into obscurity.  Your must be forever aware of your surroundings while walking the Path of Righteousness, for one misstep might mean your ultimate destruction.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q:  How will I know if I have become Truly Righteous?

It is not possible to know if you have attained Ultimate Righteousness.  You can walk the path of Righteousness your entire life and assume that you are Righteous, though you will not know for sure until you are sitting in the halls of Valhalla feasting with heroes past.

Q:  Is it ever too late to start on the path of Ultimate Righteousness?

No, but only you can know the color of your heart.  If you do not believe you can repent your evil doing and walk the path of Justice, then you are truly lost.  However, undertaking the task can be a route to self discovery as well as enlightenment.

Q:  If I try and fail to obtain Ultimate Righteousness, what will become of me?

Many who fall from the path are able to live normal lives, but they are not the ones who fall far.  Those who climb highest fall farthest.  It is a bitter fate to have glimpsed paradise only to have it slip from your grasp.  The loss is greatest for those who are unable to achieve a Blaze of Glory, the last true test of Valor.

Q:  What can total righteousness do for me? I'm just your average guy.

Ultimate righteousness is not a test of your current wealth or prestige, but a test of the quality of your character and the strength of your spirit.  The average man can find many things along the path to Ultimate Righteousness, some of them bad, and some of them good.  One thing is for certain;  he will learn lessons he never dreamt of before setting out on his Quest.

Q:  Are there any side effects?

This undertaking is not to be done on a whim.  It will likely turn your life upside down.  It may result in your death or that of your loved ones.  It may result in imprisonment, torture, insanity, or all of the above.  If the prize of Immortality is great enough in your eyes, and you truly believe with the core of your very humanity that it is yours to achieve, then by all means try.

Q:  Can I be involved even if I am currently taking blood-pressure medications?

This is a difficult question to answer. Certainly you should consult your physician before starting any new quests or exercise routines.  I'd recommend a toned down version of the nonstop adventures and battles against evil, and probably an aspirin regimen, Bayer Low Dose to be sure.  It might take longer, but you'll live long enough to go out in a Blaze of Glory and perhaps achieve the impossible.

Q:  Is this safe for children as well?

For those of you rearing children, I'd recommend exposing them to the idea of Ultimate Righteousness, and when they come of age allow them to decide for themselves whether or not they wish to dedicate their lives to the Quest of Ultimate Enlightenment.  In today's world, it's recommended to at least make sure they have a GED and a driver's license so they have a fighting chance.

Q:  Why have I never heard of this before?

I'm sure that you have, however until now you have been shutting your heart to the whisperings of adventure.  Now that you've stopped being a coward and decided to ask the hard questions, perhaps your are ready to inherit your destiny.  Accepting the truth is the first step on the long spiral staircase of Valor.

Thus ends my Introduction to Ultimate Righteousness.  I hope I have shed some light on the path to immortality.  If you have the courage, take your first steps today on a lifelong journey.

The Sworn Shield of Justice,
Ser Lucius et Algernon Diamond, First of his name and Champion of Righteousness