Wellcome to the most well-endowed update you will find on this site.  When Jakc Shannon enters the room that atmosphere can only be described as...moist.

So finaly somone sends me and email...

HIM:  My real name is Jack Shannon.  I live in chicago.  I just googled my name and found your site.

I don't like Vikings!  Probably because I'm a Ninja.  watch out for an amazing roundhouse kick!  I just grew a beard and now I look twice as tough!! Don't say you that you weren't warned!!!

Jack Shannon

Hmm, the plot thicken like the women I force feed to satify my pevert desires..I replied

ME: Ninja's are for GIRLS!  Vikings are twice as manly!  I'm so manly that I could cure inpotence just by flexing my muscles!  You can tell when Jack shannon has been to a town becuse all the women look incredibaly satiffed and content.  Also they are all pregnant...

HIM:  I have 3200 children and twelve dogmen.  half man half dog.  The dog got pregnant just from my simple pat on the head.  They are now in training as my young group of mongrel warriors!  Watch out all vikings!  The Dogmen of Chicago are coming!  They growl and bite!!!!!

Jack Shannon Ninja Warrior and DOGMEN MASTER!!!!

I know, I'm thinking the same thing. I am massively endowed, but thats beside the point...

ME: My penis is so huge it can cure cancer.

Your move Mr Bond...

HIM: you better use that gift you lazy bastard!

Now, Quite a few people ask my advice on things, and to be honest you can't blame them.  When your a wise as me its only natural that pople keep on pissing you off by begging to plesure you while simataniusly asking for advice on their media studies coursework.  So becuse I'm to busy playing Dungeons and Dragons to answer all your qustions here is my wisdom in amazingben update form.  Now the first reason you should listen to my wisdom is that I have a fucking wisdom score of 15.  Thats a fucking good wisdom score.  and the second reason is that I'm Jakc shannon.  Thats all you need to know....

When Jack shannon's Talking, we'e all slilent.

This is pretty stright forlward.  When I'm talking you shut the hell up!  Its that frickin' easy!  In fact, don't talk at all in my presense in case I am about to say somthing.  Or if your a woman.  Women shouldn't speak in the presense of Jack shannon in case he wants to say somthing.  Or ever.  Their fathers/ boyfriends/ other owners should ensure thry know their place as cattle on the ranchof the great Jack Shannon Jogging is for girls!  like not voting!  WOMEN SHOULDN'T VOTE!

But anyway, I digress.  On the rare ocasions when Jack shannon isn't alking you should be sitting with an aura of reverence and barely restrained anticipation.

This person is clearly enjoying the prospect of hearing me speak.

This person however is enjoying Jack Shannon a little too much.

You should trust your friend Jack shannon....
People who don't wake up with aids....

When Jakc shanno enters a room, the room takes notice.

THe only thing great thatn my Wisdom is my charisma, and the only thing greater that that is my viking skills.  And the only thing thats greater than that is my vast todger.  Seriously, I could kill a man with it.  I've lost ocunt of the women I've had to forcfuly inpregante just besuse they forgot his rule.

Fianly, the reason why my spelling and grammer is so shitty; revealed-

Now, you may be wondering why my legs have been replaced by a large Phalic gun, the answer is- Thats not a gun.

PISS OFF!!!!!!!

Why? Jack Shannon- Thats why.

Knock knock?
Who's there?
Jack shannon.
(pause)
Hello?
Sorry, just had to mop up after the wife....

Don't try to be Jacck shannon.  You'll only get hurt.