Ever since I decided to put some of his exceptionally weird emails up on my site, Jack Shannon has been a pretty regular citizen of my email inbox.  Oddly enough, he goes for weeks at a time without contacting me and then randomly Andrea and I will receive about fifteen emails from him in the span of two or three days.  If I don't put whatever he sends me up on my site that week, he sends me angry emails about how bad my updates suck and asks me why I hate him so much.

Anyways, I almost always enjoy reading whatever crazy crap he sends me even and despite the fact that people like Sexx "just don't get that Jack Shannon guy", I feel that weirdness on this scale just begs to be shared with others.  So here's another Tales of Jack Shannon.

Andrea's reply:

1. why do I apeer to be bludgeoned t death with a used condom?
2. If your saying opps then why don't you apeer sad in any way?
3. Yeh, like you oculd ever take me on.
4. I don't know what astute means.... HA

Somtimes in life you fine picture that is so helirous you just nealr die. and other times you accualy do die. This picture is somthing that I found Icredibly funny for some reason. Ready? OK, here goes...

Here's him as an evil villain


A Pirate


smoking pot (why does he still have a parrot?)


As a cool, hardcore viking warrior

WEll anyway, thats it for know as I'm sure we all need to fet back to our supermodel wives. Godd bite......

ME: JUST OUT OF CURIOSITY YOU UNDERSTAND, HOW MUCH WOULD PEOPLE IN THIS ROOM HAV TO BE PAID TO KILL AND EAT A HORSE WITH THEIR BARE HANDS? (COOKED TO THEIR OWN PREFERENECE, BUT YOU HAVE TO EAT THE WHOLE THING)
ME: £15
TiddMac: lol kas
TiddMac: I take it she aint got it yet then
Ratty1706: no mon.I'm working on it
Ratty1706: lol
TiddMac: rofl
RuffStuff3314850: pervs r worst , but this 1 is sick
Ratty1706: or should that be working on her pmsl
ME: HOW? THE FRENHC EAT HORSE MEAT?
ME: I'M NOT VIOLATING THE ROOM CODE OF CONDUCT. I'M TALKING AOBUT HORSES AREN'T I?
RuffStuff3314850: do i speak like a french person nooooooooooooooooooooo
Ratty1706: it's not that bad ruff
ME: OK THEN HOW MUCH WOULD PEOPLE IN THIS ROOM HAV TO BE PAID TO KILL AND EAT A CAT WITH THEIR BARE HANDS? (COOKED TO THEIR OWN PREFERENECE, BUT YOU HAVE TO EAT THE WHOLE THING)
Ratty1706: I've eaten zebra
ME: £12
ME: SEAMS A RESONABLE PRICE FOR EATING A CAT.
TiddMac: ok time for bed methinks
RuffStuff3314850: pml ratty . nearest i got is squid .............lol
ME: BUT A HORSE WOULD TAKE LONGER OT BLUDGEON TO DEATH, BUT THEIRS BETTER EATIN'S

"Jack withdrew his dragon Katana from the heart of his utmost foe, (Blank).  For years (Blank) had been a throne in his well-oiled side for over a year now, constantly ploting his downfall with constant acts of viociouness and betrayal.  Jack had only got round to killing him/her becuase for a short while he was trying to build a model of himself out of bits of his old scabs and hair, in an effort to create a clone of himself to satify Andrea's constant lusting for his oily body while the real Jack could spend time doing inportant things.  Like getting to level 23 with his human fighter Konrad Blackspear in dungeons and dragons.

Jack sighed contenedly and placed his dragon Katana lovingly into his dragon shaped Katana holder. Buying a Katana holder shaped like a dragon was a wise move, Though Jack.  "It gives the room a consistant theme".

Sitting down in his dragon shaped chair, Jack powered up his computor that he built himself from old dead bodies he found lying around in some grave somwhere, and acessed his emails.  After reading a few emails from women proposing marridge (Which he replied with a cuttingly witty "Jogging is for girls!") He spied an email from his comrade in ass-kickery and level 15 Cleric of the cabal of auwsomenes, Amazing ben.

" Hey -- the update is shaping up nicely, but I have a lot of pictures and not much text.  If you get time before the end of the day Friday, will you send me some sort of story to put up?  Perhaps something that doesn't involve my severed head?

P.S. I tried the Jack mask with Andrea last night.  She rated may performance at 5/10 (average) A PERSONAL BEST!  Thanks for the tip dude."

Jack paused for a moment.

--------------

Five years later (It was a long pause.) Jack Replied.

"dear Ben,

No.  I am too busy scoreing with Hot chicks to do that.  I have bearly enough time to give the dali Llama his weekly ass-kicking without you trying to shift the workload onto me.  Do some work yourself you rat-like gypsy you!

Yours sinserly- Bodisatva Jack Shannon, Viking Warrior, Lord of Bodam, Champion of Kord and Arch Duke of the 7th level of the Pit."

Jack thought this was a pretty snapy reply.  He then though he should add somthing.

P.s.  "You have loverly eyes."