I started this website basically as a medium for my own egocentricity.  How it kind of metamorphicized into a pseudo-humor website is really beyond me, especially since my intentions for this site were originally just to make wild declarations about how much better I am than everyone else.  Well, a while ago I found that a fun way to blend the two was to post pictures of people with the same name as me and declare blantantly how much more attractive I am than anyone who has the same name as me.  If you haven't heard this bit before, you can read the first one here and the second one here.  The good news is that I have such a retardedly common name that I'll probably be riding this bit until I die.  Or become unattractive.  Or come across another Ben Thompson that is more attractive than me.  But what are the odds of that, right?

Ben Thompson the Park Ranger: This Ben Thompson was like the king of the National Parks Service for like thirty years or something.  He really looks like the kind of guy who would be like, "back in my day, the park rangers actually had to wrestle the bears.  You punks have it easy!".  Which is pretty cool.  Unfortunately, however, he is not nearly attractive enough to be considered in the same league as an Adonis such as myself.
Ben Thompson the Count Rumford: Mr. Sir Count Ben Thompson, Esq. was a +/- 16th Century scientist who was responsible for discovering the Caloric or the principle that there is no such thing as cold, but rather just the absence of heat, and while heat can dissipate it does not go away.  This paved the way for many future scientific theories such as entropy, gravity, the solar system and weight watchers.  This Ben Thompson however thought he was too goddamned cool to go by "Ben Thompson" so instead he decided to go by the name Count Rumford.  Even though I am far more attractive than this old scientist and his foppish powdered wigs and stupid medals, I have to dock this guy like a bunch of points for disrespecting the name.  Please.  Tons of people less attractive than I would Kill to have an awesome name like Ben Thompson.  It's really the kind of name you can set your watch to.  Plus, everybody knows how to spell and pronounce it so there's not a whole lot of confusion when you get awards or sign up for stuff over the phone.  Also, a name like ours will help you get busy with hot foreign nationals who live in crappy countries because in some third world nations "Ben Thompson" is actually a synonym for "Green Card".  So Count Rumford can take his crappy Transylvanian too-good-for-a-real-name Sesame Street phony bullcrap and choke on it.
Ben Thompson the Nuclear Physicist: Australia is one of the few places in the world where you can be the administrative chairman of a nuclear research laboratory and still look like a soccer hooligan.  This Ben Thompson probably knows about five hundred words that I will never understand and could possibly give me a right good braining with a shellaillagh, but the ruddy complexion, crazy hair and yellowing teeth give me a slight edge in the physical attractiveness category.  However, I totally dig his suit.
Ben Thompson the Actor: This Ben Thompson is a drama major at some university somewhere that may or may not be in the midwest.  Generally speaking, if I can't figure out the name of the university by the three letters that preceed ".edu" then I generally don't care what school it is.  You should read that last sentence as "I don't care what school it is unless they have a Division I-A football team".  This school does not.  I'm not sure if this Ben Thompson is actually an actor or rather just a tech student, but either way he looks as though he would have a claymore sword hanging on pegs in his TV room so that when Braveheart comes on TBS he can pull it down and hold it during the fight scenes, quietly wondering what his adjusted Thac0 would have been if he were a Scottish warrior.  Maybe that's unfair.  But maybe that's also true.
Ben Thompson the J-Crew Catalogue Model: I am so hot.  I don't know why I feel like I need to tell you guys this every single week, but it's so true.  Maybe instead of trying to find a Ben Thompson that is better looking than me, I should just try to find any living human being that can match my physical perfection.  I mean, who wouldn't put this shot of me in their Winter catalogue?  Red hats would sell by the billions!  That's not to say that I haven't had my magazine modeling gig offers, though.  I just choose to maintain my journalistic integrity by not whoring myself out to every offer that comes along.